why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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