after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is wine microwaveable?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
