eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
