I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize