those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
