a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize