i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
