I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize