I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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