i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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