Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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