Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
