I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize