You're so nebulous sometimes
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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