at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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