Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
