guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
