She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
