we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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