You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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