What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
