If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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