I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
