Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Drunk is not a location!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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