Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
