Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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