You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
