The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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