dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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