Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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