I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
