My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
