North Korea, Best Korea!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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