If i come over, it means nothing
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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