hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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