can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
