i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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