I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize