Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i think i just lost a toe
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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