In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
