Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
