I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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