Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
