saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
