I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
