the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
