recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
