Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think your dad took our porno
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
