whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
