Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize