i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
