what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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