We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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