Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
