I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
