I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
