All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need water and some morals
Randomize
